Category Archives: It’s Just Me

Holiday Hooligans

 

Yes, the debate has already begun, should Christmas be celebrated before Thanksgiving, or does the turkey deserve its due? If you are a defender of the cornucopia, I’m here to tell you, that argument is so 2016. Move over mashed potatoes, it’s time for the jack-o-lantern to scare away those jolly elves who want their lighted tree to shine in … October?

I am all for celebrating any and all holidays, and if you have a party, I’m there. But, Thanksgiving lovers caught in a tryptophan daze just lost the fight with Christmas, and the sleigh bells have moved on to a new target to conquer, Halloween.

I’m sure the Boo Day purists will find it offensive walking into a Home Depot right now, only to find their inflatable Grim Reapers replaced by red-nosed reindeers. Don’t let what happened to the turkey happen to the ghost, instead of battling with old St. Nick for your day, take over a holiday you can dwarf. Maybe, Labor Day or any one of the 30+ holidays in August can be your focus. I might want to stay away from Independence Day, that one might blow-up in your face.

Decorate if you want to decorate, dress up if you want to dress up, celebrate Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day months in advance, I’m okay with that.

And on this day of ghost and ghouls, Merry Christmas!

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Fore Warned

I feel a little bit robbed.

I apparently have an abnormality, which I was not made aware of until recently. I possess  something so large, I was told to hide my monstrosity, before anyone of importance could see it. Why wasn’t I alerted to this previously? I have lived day in and day out for years without even thinking about it, but apparently it is so severe, it has interfered with my work. And now that it has been pointed out to me, my obsession over it is repeatedly hitting me head on.

Maybe I should consider it the opposite of an obstacle, maybe an endowment … it’s said that bigger is better. Right? What I feel like is the better part of a fool, one who so unknowingly and prominently has been displaying this freak of nature, like it was a natural occurrence.

My ignorance of this anomaly I have, has been taken from me and I want it back.

So, if you catch me staring at your forehead, forgive me, I’m not judging you, I’m judging me.

For Sale: 2009 Jetta TDI, fairly scandal-free until recently.

TDI

I have a confession to make, I am a driver of a 2009 Jetta TDI and embarrassed about it.

This is when you all say in unison, “Hello 2009 Jetta TDI driver.” And I give you a knowing nod.

Last week, soon after the controversy broke, I went into my local VW dealership, which slightly resembled a ghost town with that new car smell. I introduced myself and explained that I was concerned about my vehicle and asked what my options were at this point. The salesperson on duty kept his cool, asked me if I could wait just a second and then disappeared to the back. A second man quickly came out and shook my hand, I was obviously being pawned off to the General Manager. I repeated what I originally said to the salesperson and the manager took me into his office. After politely listening to his well-rehearsed lines, I told him I wanted to be proactive with my decision regarding this vehicle that is spewing forty times the allowable toxins in the air. I was told to just sit tight for now until Volkswagen made a decision on what they were going to do.

I responded by repeating what he said, “So your proactive advice is to just sit tight and wait?”

He then explained that although I had lost 50-60% of the value of my car in a short few weeks, if I wanted to purchase a new vehicle, VW would give me $2,000 in loyalty cash. I do recall laughing out loud at this point, and it was not the last time I did so during our conversation.

Next he tried to reassure me that Volkswagen diesel vehicles were safe, which I never questioned, and in high demand. Now this I questioned. He said he had a lot full of them he could sell today if allowed because the demand was so high, and that every salesperson had at least one customer they had turned away, who was interested in a TDI. This is when our conversation came to a cordial end.

Although I find his “in high demand” statement hard to believe, much like Fox Mulder from the X Files, I want to believe. If you are one of the masses in search of a vehicle which cannot pass an emission test (well it can pass thanks to the German engineering which kicks in just in time to allow for a false reading), I want to hear from you. According to my VW dealership you are out there, and I am looking for you. Please feel free to contact me. Thanks.

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