Tag Archives: humor

Holiday Hooligans

 

Yes, the debate has already begun, should Christmas be celebrated before Thanksgiving, or does the turkey deserve its due? If you are a defender of the cornucopia, I’m here to tell you, that argument is so 2016. Move over mashed potatoes, it’s time for the jack-o-lantern to scare away those jolly elves who want their lighted tree to shine in … October?

I am all for celebrating any and all holidays, and if you have a party, I’m there. But, Thanksgiving lovers caught in a tryptophan daze just lost the fight with Christmas, and the sleigh bells have moved on to a new target to conquer, Halloween.

I’m sure the Boo Day purists will find it offensive walking into a Home Depot right now, only to find their inflatable Grim Reapers replaced by red-nosed reindeers. Don’t let what happened to the turkey happen to the ghost, instead of battling with old St. Nick for your day, take over a holiday you can dwarf. Maybe, Labor Day or any one of the 30+ holidays in August can be your focus. I might want to stay away from Independence Day, that one might blow-up in your face.

Decorate if you want to decorate, dress up if you want to dress up, celebrate Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day months in advance, I’m okay with that.

And on this day of ghost and ghouls, Merry Christmas!

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An Ill Advised Education

carmelinahart.com

As a parent, I have learned that every moment is a teaching moment, and as cliché as it is, it’s true.

Right now is back-to-school time and that means shopping. While we were in our second hour of searching for school supplies at the store, things started to get little crazy. Azul was singing and dancing to the brand names of spiral notebooks and I was seeing double. This was shopping insanity, of course surrounded by the ambience of fluorescent lights, screaming babies and confused parents.

Then came this …

“Yoobi!” My third grader sang as he struck a pose, looking right at me. I focused my gaze on him, and to a familiar tune replied, “You be illin’, don, don, don, don, don, don … ricky, ricky, rick!” (Of course emphasizing the last “rick” and air scratching on my air turntable.)

He had no idea what I was talking about (that scenario happens a lot between the two of us and it goes both ways), so with a quick Google search, the volume turned up – the education began. We listened to the music, walked through the store, focussed, no longer hearing the cries of babes.

Education is everywhere, and I truly do believe every child deserves the knowledge of Run DMC. This may become our new back-to-school anthem … (ricky, ricky, rick!)

Dubbing The Dabbing

This is the “you’re showing your Mommy Moment again” look. Usually accompanied with a sigh.

Kids are great, they say the funniest things while learning how to navigate around language and social norms. The innocence of their errors is what makes it so amusing, and we get to make fun of them and it’s okay. As parents we all celebrate the openness and truth of children, and as a writer, I have taken advantage of this more than most.

So I knew this day would come, the day I would say something wrong (and I’m going to add, totally cute) instead of my child. Yes, my Mommy Moment* happened much sooner than anticipated.

 

“Mommy Moment: saying something not cool. This is an evolving definition, soon to morph into: saying anything at all.”

While trying to journey through the “new slang” the kids are saying “these days” (I know, I am sounding less and less cool as I continue), I stumbled and was immediately corrected by my eight year-old teacher of all-things-not-cool.

Now, I’m no Cam Newton, but in the middle of what I’m sure was a very stimulating conversation with my third grader, to make my point, I threw my bent elbow in the air and shouted, “Dub!” (Why did I even say that?!?)

I was obviously wrong in my attempt to be cool or talk like anyone considered to be cool, and it was immediately pointed out to me with nonverbal falling-on-the-floor laughter intertwined with DABBING! My action was later described by my 52 inch professor of cool as “cringe worthy.”

*Mommy Moment: saying something not cool. This is an evolving definition, soon to morph into: saying anything at all.

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