Tag Archives: linguistics

Oh, no …

Hells no

The vast amount of knowledge I have gained as a parent has surprised me and continues to deliver awe on a daily basis. I have learned to admit when I am wrong and how to apologize, that I must pick my battles and can’t solve everything, and how to take better care of myself because there is someone else who depends on me. And to anyone who believes I am terribly irresponsible today, the beer, the cussing and wearing my shoes on the furniture, should have met me ten years ago, I was so much more FUN!

The latest lesson from my seven year-old son, Azul, was in Linguistics. I have been a huge advocate for the Dual Language program at school and completely support his multi-lingual pursuits at all levels.

His question was, “Do you know how to say, ‘no’ in (insert various language here)?”

My answer to each language he presented was shockingly, “No.”

He impressively went through five different languages correctly and then finally came to his last language asking, “Do you know how to say, ‘no’ in Gangster?”

I didn’t immediately answer, and a million thoughts of my young life living in Albuquerque’s South Valley flashed before me. After a short pause I said … wait for it, “No.”

If you are unfamiliar with how to say “no” in Gangster, consider yourself schooled.

You say tomato, we say…

suck balls

Linguistics sucks. It’s a hard subject to get a grasp on, there are so many rules to follow and double meanings and proper use and slang, even some adults have a hard time, but listening to kids try to master the topic is pure entertainment!

While my five year-old was eating his lunch, which consisted of a grilled cheese sandwich and a side of cherry tomatoes, I was picking up the kitchen. Just as excited as could be I heard Azul proclaim, “Look what I invented — Suck Balls!”

WHAT?! was my immediate thought, well a lot of things went through my head at that moment, so I looked up to see what he was talking about.

“See,” he said holding up a cherry tomato with a small bite off the top. He proceeded to put the tomato against his puckered lips and suck the juice out while squeezing it, then he popped the whole thing in his mouth and ate it.

Once he was done with this display of his new invention he said, “You suck all the juice out and then eat it. Suck Balls!”

“Try it,” he said handing me a tomato. And on his insistence I tried it and it was good, and fun! We finished the Suck Balls together.

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