Sometimes, six year-olds bug!
Azul and I were having our ritualistic after school conversation, “How was your day? Good. How was yours? Good.” Then I told him I had swallowed some gnats while I was biking earlier that day. There were gnats everywhere! Some people were even wearing masks to keep the little bits of protein out of their system. And to be fair, I didn’t swallow them all, I snorted two of them right up my nose. Charlie Sheen might call that “winning!”
Well, his six year-old response of course was in song, “There was an old lady who swallowed a fly!” And then he couldn’t stop laughing and singing, over and over. It was as if this was the funniest thing he had ever said in his entire life. Are you kidding me?! Ugh!
He wasn’t grossed out or even excited about eating bugs, he went straight to making fun of me! I don’t know where he gets that from.
After the initial shock of being called an old lady subsided, I was able to appreciate the joke, which was actually super funny! I do know where he gets that from.
Phone Phight!
“I think I broke my brain,” Azul said looking down, rubbing his six year-old head with his little hand.
“Oh my love, maybe you should stop playing on the phone,” is what I said. What I meant was “get off my phone.” Much like old men say, “get off my lawn,” just not as old or angry.
In a defensive move he replied, “You say the phone is bad for my brain and you’re on it all the time!”
“I’ve done enough harm to my brain, I think I’ll be okay.” You are witnessing my brilliant parenting skills at work right there in that response. Eek!
So, he asked, “Why is it bad for my brain?” Oh, the fight is on!
“I’ll tell you what, when you finish Grad School, you can play on the phone all you want,” I answered.
Azul loves to bargain and make deals, so intrigued he asked, “How many schools is that?”
Holding up my hand and raising a finger for each one, “Well, you’re in Elementary School now, then there is Middle School, High School, Undergraduate School in College and Grad School in College. That’s five.”
“Noooooo! That’s too many. I was thinking when I was eight or nine,” he said, throwing his right-hook in the negotiations.
I laughed and gave in to the winner. “Okay, we’ll talk about it when you’re eight or nine.”
Happy Fall
Today is the first day of Fall and although we have already put away most of our summer toys and gear for the season, going through this process has reminded me of last year when Azul and I packed up the blow-up swimming pool. Yes, sometimes we are crazy together!
From October 16, 2013
The Leviathan
This weekend Azul and I decided it was time to deflate the blow-up pool we had set up in the back yard all summer. Now, if there is a secret on how to do this, please don’t tell me, because I don’t want to feel stupid.
This is how it went down — first we opened the little blow holes (you know the ones you put the air compressor in to blow up the thing in the first place) and we sat on the pool to force the air out, that didn’t work. The air wasn’t coming out and we both just rolled off laughing. Next we decided to stick our fingers in the holes while we were sitting on it, so the air could escape, and when I say “we” I mean “me” because I am obviously the adult and the one making the decisions. Now, if you have never had to stick your finger in a hole, I’m telling you, you have got to get it just right for it to work! I’m on one side fingers engaged, while Azul is on the other trying to jump on the pool, but just getting bounced right off. Then he tried to jump on my side and it was like playing teeter-totter by yourself, with the far side in the air.
Mind you, we’re an hour in, we can’t stop laughing and are getting nowhere fast. But, my Starbuck and I were not about to turn back or be outdone; we conquered our Moby-Dick, albeit with sore bellies from laughing so hard, and put the Leviathan away, at least until next year.
Carmelina Hart 