One thing I always try to do as a parent is listen to and understand what my now seven year-old is saying. This can be difficult, because sometimes I just don’t care, but then there are times when I am more than enthusiastic to ask for additional details. And sometimes it’s just uncomfortably funny!

“I call him a pussy zombie. Not like pussy, pussy, but just pussy.” Azul began to explain a conversation he was obviously already having in his head. Huh? I didn’t know what was going on, it’s kind of like arriving late to a party where everyone is already drunk.

Trying to get my bearings while also trying not to sound alarmed, I asked, “What does pussy, pussy mean?”

With the roll of his eyes he said, “You know …”

“Like a cat?” Please be a cat, please be a cat.

“Yeah, a cat,” he replied before cracking up laughing.

He watches a lot of British Minecraft tutorial videos on YouTube, and Europeans seem to be much more free with saying that word than Americans are, because of course it means a cat.

“Well, I’m fine with you using that word, but you may not want to repeat it at school because you know what else pussy means?”

“No,” was his answer, following an audible sigh.

Unconsciously I mimicked his deep breath and being as serious as possible I said, “It could be used as slang for a woman’s vagina.”

“Ooooooooohhhh!”

He was embarrassed; eyes open, hand to mouth, bent over at the waist, run out of the room as quickly as you can, embarrassed!

Leave it to the sober guy to ruin the party.