Cat’s Out Of The Bag
One thing I always try to do as a parent is listen to and understand what my now seven year-old is saying. This can be difficult, because sometimes I just don’t care, but then there are times when I am more than enthusiastic to ask for additional details. And sometimes it’s just uncomfortably funny!
“I call him a pussy zombie. Not like pussy, pussy, but just pussy.” Azul began to explain a conversation he was obviously already having in his head. Huh? I didn’t know what was going on, it’s kind of like arriving late to a party where everyone is already drunk.
Trying to get my bearings while also trying not to sound alarmed, I asked, “What does pussy, pussy mean?”
With the roll of his eyes he said, “You know …”
“Like a cat?” Please be a cat, please be a cat.
“Yeah, a cat,” he replied before cracking up laughing.
He watches a lot of British Minecraft tutorial videos on YouTube, and Europeans seem to be much more free with saying that word than Americans are, because of course it means a cat.
“Well, I’m fine with you using that word, but you may not want to repeat it at school because you know what else pussy means?”
“No,” was his answer, following an audible sigh.
Unconsciously I mimicked his deep breath and being as serious as possible I said, “It could be used as slang for a woman’s vagina.”
He was embarrassed; eyes open, hand to mouth, bent over at the waist, run out of the room as quickly as you can, embarrassed!
Leave it to the sober guy to ruin the party.
Tis’ the Season!
It’s that time of year again, holiday parties, holiday brews and holiday cocktails, all in the spirit of the season. Don’t get me wrong, I love this time of year, and other than the word “holiday,” I do my best to give it my all every season.
From January 10, 2013
Last night I asked Azul, my five year-old, if he drank all of his milk and he replied, “I’d…mumble…mumble.”
Not understanding the “mumble” I said, “You dumped it?”
He answered, “I drunk it. Drunk is my favorite word!”
I nodded and thought, me too.
One of the interesting things about being a mom is you can relate to other moms. You will have personal conversations with women who are total strangers and these conversations range from funny and cool, to totally uncomfortable, and they can happen anywhere at any time. Mine was this afternoon, in line at the deli waiting to order sandwiches. Azul was with me, of course, and the older woman behind us started the conversation with, “He is adorable.” I gave the polite nod and a “Thank you.” She continued, “I remember when my sons were that age, they’re adults now, but when they are that age, they just love you and think you’re great and there is no better connection than a boy with his mom. Then they become teenagers and they don’t want to have anything to do with you and don’t even like you, like they did when they were little. Oh, the teenage years are rough, then they become adults and love you again and tell you, you were right and you weren’t so hard on them when they were teenagers and they really appreciate what you’ve done for them.” She continued talking without taking a breath or a break for me to join in the conversation. So, I waited, listening, smiling and nodding. Then I said, “Well, I plan to spend his teenage years much like I spent my own…drunk.” Not sure if it was a laugh or an awkward snicker I got in return.