The Birds And The Bees
Spring is in the air. The temperature is rising, the birds are singing and the bees are …
“A bee is dying! A bee is dying!” My seven year-old ran in the house in a state of panic. Confused I asked if he could show me what he was talking about. I followed him back outside where we saw this: (Cue porn music now.)
If the bees are a buzzing don’t come a knocking! Well, we knocked or really we pulled out the camera and recorded them, which of course interrupted their special moment. And sorry for the scream.
I explained they were not bees, but actually wasps. That really scared Azul. Then that there were two of them and they weren’t dying but mating. That news terrified him.
Once he removed his hand from his mouth, which had covered it as if he had said something wrong, still wide-eyed, he finally mustered up a reply.
“That’s the most discussing thing I’ve ever seen!”
Ah, Spring.
Spring Break Slip
Thoughts of Spring Break always conjure up images of sun and sand, drinks and tans, but this year was different, for Spring Break we went to a place where the daytime temperatures were colder than the nighttime temperatures in our home town of Albuquerque, New Mexico. No bathing suits, suntan lotion and fruity drinks for me (okay, some fruity drinks), we had business to take care of. My Father-in-law’s only request upon his death was to be buried in South Dakota in his family’s plot. So, with turtlenecks, hats and gloves packed, we headed north for Spring Break!
The last time we were with my husband Alan’s extended family was in 2010 in Santa Barbara, California for his cousin’s wedding. A very different occasion, there was sand, bathing suits and drinks, although not much sun, but enough to use the pool at the hotel.
I had just had Azul a couple of years prior and was not quite ready to let go of my maternity bathing suit, no matter how hideous it was, until the Santa Barbara trip. My new J Crew suit was awesome, a conservative cocoa color, one piece with a halter strap that fit tightly around the back of my neck. Although the neck line was not revealing, the halter strap made me much more comfortable. In addition to a new baby and a new suit, I had a new figure as well. Things were a little bigger than they used to be thanks to breast-feeding and the expansion of my pelvic bone, preparing for child-birth. But I was ready.
Jim, my father in-law, had flown to Albuquerque from Washington D.C., stayed a few days and then the four of us continued west to California. Most of the family stayed at the same hotel which was nice for family time, we don’t see everyone very often and this was the first time they would meet Azul.
One afternoon Jim, Alan, Azul and I went down to the pool. On the way we ran into the groom of the upcoming wedding, so he joined us as well. There was a lot going on, we were swimming and hot tubbing all while chit-chatting with Jim and company. In true fashion, my Father-in-law was able to read the newspaper at the table near the pool and talk at the same time.
Azul and Alan were sitting on the side of the hot tub and I decided to dive into the pool. Flawlessly I dove in, the coolness of the pool was exhilarating, and when I surfaced facing Alan’s family, I could feel the cold ocean breeze on my chest. Ahh. Then I realized, I felt it a little too much. I looked down and to my horror, although my halter strap was firmly in place, the front of my suit had slipped down below my breasts. I immediately covered myself and looked up to where my audience sat and they looked away. I don’t know how much they saw, I’m assuming everything, but they were perfect gentlemen and never spoke a word of it.
Soon more family joined us at the pool and we all moved on from the incident.
With much comfort this year, I was looking forward to greeting everyone in a Turtleneck sweater.
Caution: Don’t Eat The Grass!
This afternoon when I picked Azul up from Pre-school, we went through our regular question and answer routine, what committee were you in today, what song did you sing in music class, who hit who on the playground, same thing we do every commute home.
Once we finalized our afternoon formalities my five year-old said, “We need something to bring in that is like Spring.” Trying to clarify I said, “For show-n-tell?” He replied, “Yes something about Spring and I have an idea.” Testing him, I responded with sarcasm, “What, a snowman?” Laughing his response at me he said, “No crazy. I need you to get me a Tupperware and a top and I’m going to put grass in it. Grass means Spring.” I said, “Oh, awesome you want to bring in some vegetation.” I like to throw different words at him to expand his vocabulary. He usually throws something back at me to lower my expectations!
“Yes, that’s my idea. But, don’t eat the grass because sometimes I pee on it.” Closing my eyes and tilting my head back in amazement I replied, “Thanks for the warning.”
He then went on to explain the difference in how boys and girls pee on the grass. “Girls have to stick out their butts and go tsssss! Boys just stand and pee anywhere like this, tsssss!” Although correct, I hope he doesn’t go into the latter part of the grass explanation during his show-n-tell presentation.
Carmelina Hart 