From September 1, 2012

This is the unabridged version of the story that started it all. My first Rude Awakening Parental Moment, not the first time I experienced a rude awakening, just the first time I documented it.

It happened when Azul and I were taking “parent/child” swimming classes at UNM. We took this class every Saturday morning for five weeks, which meant we had to get dressed in the women’s locker room after class so we could run errands that day. Never a fan of locker rooms, they have always created an uncomfortable feeling for me. But I’m an adult now with a child, so I can be mature about it, right? It can’t be like middle school where everyone is making fun of you, so just get over it!

Well, following our last class, I was toweling myself off as quickly as possible and reminding Azul to keep his eyes to himself. “Mommy, that little boy is getting dressed too,” Azul noticed. “Don’t worry about him, just worry about your own business. I’m almost done and then we’ll get you dressed,” I said in a hurried tone, trying to get dressed while still damp.

There was one other mom from our class with her son getting dressed too. With both of us with our backs to each other, the other little boy said to his mom, “Mommy, your underwear is much longer than hers.” Standing there in my thong underwear and shirt, I kept repeating to myself in my head, “don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh.” And it took everything I had not to turn around and look at her granny panties. I don’t ever want to look her in the eyes again. Oh, I’m so glad swim class is over.