Sleeping Like A Baby
Every parent knows the saying “sleeping like a baby” is a lie, babies don’t sleep! From the moment you bring home your new bundle of joy, what that really means is that you give up all rights to getting a good night’s sleep. That’s right, you will never sleep again!
In the beginning the lack of sleep is due to the basic needs of your child. This may come as a shock, but they can’t do anything themselves (Ugh, freeloaders!) and they depend on you to do everything, so you are in charge of the feeding and burping and changing and cleaning and dressing. Your day turns into a loop of those activities, and earlier when I said you were in charge, I was being generous because you’re not in charge, you are at their beck and call, which usually happens every couple of hours. Yup! TWO!
The other thing that starts immediately is the change in your sleep habits. You are forever a transformed sleeper and from this moment on you are on “high alert.” This is the innate need you have to protect your child and keep them safe, and high alert doesn’t stop even when you are in a state of REM. There is a fear that overwhelms you, and even when your baby is finally asleep, for those couple glorious hours, you are still peeking in on them, watching their little chest making sure they are rising in a rhythmic pattern you can recognize. And when you are satisfied that everything will be okay, you lay in bed trying to listen for the slightest sigh or sign of discomfort so you can run in and attend to this little person you just created. Eventually you will get to a point where you are so exhausted, it takes your precious little thing three or four good screams before you are jolted out of a dead sleep.
Now for the good news, things do get better. After the initial shock of being responsible for another person wanes, you do start to sleep a little more, but unfortunately parents never get away from being on high alert. In addition, babies get bigger and no longer have to be changed and fed every few hours. Yay! Things will even out, and after a year or so, sleep comes.
Eventually in about six years you become spoiled and your child’s need for sleep extends to around 10 hours, there is no more crying in the middle of the night (yes, I mean from your spouse), and that’s when it hits you like a ton of bricks! The fear no longer belongs to you but your child. “Mommy, I’m scared” is accompanied by a tap on the forehead. And soon your cute kid has turned into the creepy kid, standing in the dark staring at you in the middle of the night.
At first you tuck you child back in bed and try to get back to sleep; this is repeated throughout the night. Then this is repeated for a few nights and then a few weeks. Eventually you give up and in desperation you ask, “You want to just sleep with me?” That is the beginning of the end. And the lack of sleeping stage you thought you had grown out of is back in full force!
Why is this happening!?! AGAIN.
Congratulations, your baby is growing up. They are experiencing more, seeing more and understanding more as their minds are absorbing all of that information, and their imaginations are running rampant and all that together equals fear and nightmares.
Our first attempt at preventive measures, much to my son’s dismay, was in the form of removing the constant flow of Minecraft videos and the use of headphones. This helped, but just for one night. The bonus was that in the morning my six year-old did recognize the benefit of not having voices pushed directly into his head via headsets and acknowledged that he was watching too many videos.
Then I got all “Maria Von Trapp” on him and before bed we talked about happy things and positive experiences and just a few of our favorite things. That also seemed to temporarily aid in the sleepless nights. Temporarily! The morning following our “Sound Of Music” moment he said, “That kind of worked and kind of didn’t. It didn’t help me sleep, but it gave me the confidence to stay in bed.” YES!
We have now included the addition of aromatherapy. The last thing I do before I leave him to his night of personal terror is spritz lavender around his bed. He likes this a lot!
This is where we are, I have not slept for weeks and am going crazy! And when I say crazy I just mean I’m exhausted. And to my girlfriend who has three boys and told me this is going to last until he is about eight, I don’t like you anymore.
In A Flash!
There are moments in my day when I am not entertaining my six year-old constant companion and he is able to flourish in his own imagination all by himself. As much as I love play time, these are the periods every parent looks forward to and I am no different. And to any new parents, don’t worry, it will happen, and when it does it is glorious!
So, while Azul was in his room playing and dinner was in the oven, I had one of those glorious moments. I was sitting on the couch just decompressing from the day (yes, I mean having a drink), when all of a sudden he ran into the room. He stood in front of me, shoulders back in a proud display and proclaimed, “You should have named me Flash because I am very fast!” and then exited as quickly as he had entered.
Huh!?! That was fast, maybe I should’ve named him Flash.
You Be The Judge
Recently our mornings are a little more hectic than normal, we run out of time to get all of our morning ablutions completed, arguments and tears ensue, and it’s bordering on chaos. I suspect a couple of culprits need to be brought to trial for shortening our “breakfast time.”
Suspect number one, the weather. It’s colder outside, which I know doesn’t affect the indoor temperature, but for some reason cuddling in a warm bed seems so much more enticing when it’s cold outside. So, my six year-old cuddles with me when he gets up from his bed. And I love it. Nothing is sweeter than two little arms awkwardly wrapped around your head, forcing bed head into your face. As sweet as it is, it does cut into our breakfast time.
Suspect number two, a new addition to our family. Azul has a new friend to play with, we gave him a Kindle Fire Tablet. It’s his, and he knows it, and he likes to point out that it is “my tablet” every chance he gets. There are still rules on asking permission before downloading anything and he can only play it in the Living Room or Kitchen area, not in his room. But, like any other new toy, he insists on playing it all the time. Which also means during breakfast time, our already short breakfast time, he is playing and not eating, and then we have rush to get dressed. UGH!
Judging the situation, changes needed to be made, and as I struck my imaginary gavel in my head, I said, “Morning time is for two things, having breakfast and getting dressed, then if there is extra time you can play.” Oh, I’m a real hard ass! I might have even called him “my Love” during the issuing of the verdict.
Well, he didn’t take his sentencing lightly and stormed off to self-imposed solitary confinement in his room. Soon, he returned with an appeal.
This is a picture of Azul at the counter eating breakfast without and with the tablet. The one without the tablet is x-ed out, the second one with him playing on the tablet and eating is checked.
“I have a complaint!” was his vocal companion to the formal written declaration. Although the court recognized the objection (with a proud grin and a mommy giggle), it was nevertheless denied. The evidence against the cuddling was also thrown out.
Court dismissed.
Carmelina Hart 